Soul Without Trust

from by The Cardboard City

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You can't fake it
You can't bake it
You can't buy it for a million pounds
You can't fall into it
Or build up to it
Or find it buried in the ground

It doesn't grow on you
It doesn't suddenly inhere
You can't achieve it with any effort of will
On an analyst's couch
Or in a lover's bed
Or in the molecules of an engineered pill

You can't give it to Jesus
He's not there to receive it even if you could
Everybody wants it
They ask for it by name
They demand it of you for the public good

Deep within
Under the pain
Underneath the childish love and hate
That animate your brain

All wrapped up
In a lifetime of fear
The hope and the loss and the cynical thoughts that
keep your head clear

Something is speaking
In an incoherent tongue
It's making you old
And keeping you young

A vision of a dark land
An unquenchable lust
The hollow lament
Of a soul without trust

Well I was waiting
For a train that never came I was
keeping company with my woes
I didn't see how
You crept up to me
I didn't see how you turned to go

I thought a long time
I stayed up twenty straight nights
I looked my pitiful self straight in the face
I saw a child
I saw a corpse
I saw a runner dropping out of the race

I stopped trusting my body
I left it wasting by the edge of the road
Nobody said anything
I just went down to the bottom
To watch it silently explode

High above
Way off the earth
In between the worlds
Where we die and give birth

Ripped and torn
Over and again
Fed to the dogs and
stood up on its end

Somebody's calling
Hoarse with sincerity
Splitting the air
with a surgical sort of parity

An image of a dead man
A world built out of rust
The fossilized howl of despair
Of a soul without trust

Nothing much in the way of getting
Permanently in your own way
Alienate your friends and go down

But you better keep in mind that what you
Leave off to the end
Is never gonna be as bittersweet
As what was actually left unspoken

I can't tell you
I can't hide it
I can't give you any better than a clue
I can't spell it out
Or push it down
I can't promise what I'm not going to do

You brought it out in me
You challenged it hard
You showed me where it failed and where it lacked
When I came back with it
It didn't look right
It was uncool, unkempt, and unpacked

You’re chasing after your killer
I saw that little cap in your clutch
You don’t begrudge me distractions
I might get through it or not
I might forget how to touch you

Far away
Long ago
I met somebody that I
never got to know

Giving up
Isn't hard
Just cut it off quick and
photograph the scars

Nothing is advertised
Nothing is known
All that's lost
Is left all alone

The concrete incantation
The magic flaked into dust
The unarguable cold logic
Of a soul without trust


from Heavy Paper, released January 25, 2016




The Cardboard City Berlin, Germany

The Cardboard City are a Berlin group composed of Noel Bush, who writes and sings the songs and plays keyboard; Henrik Lafrenz, who plays the drums; Micha Bürgle on bass; and Niels Hoogendoorn on electric guitar (though he wasn't yet with the group when they recorded "Heavy Paper"). The group is working on a new album now, due out later in 2017. ... more

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